


An (Almost) Impossible Quest

by Mmellow24



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Awkwardness, Coming Out, Don't Know How To Tag This, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Good Hair Crew, Homophobia, M/M, Misunderstandings4, Or Is It?, Panic Attacks, Slightly longer fic, Slow Burn, They are teenagers what do you expect, Unrequited Love, as slow as you can get if the fic isn't supposed to get too long, i think, kind of, multi-chaptered, not too sappy tho, or are they?, post 2x25, slow burn is different than you might expect, you can skip them tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-06-30 07:59:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15747570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mmellow24/pseuds/Mmellow24
Summary: Post 2x25 eraCyrus feels his heart shatter into pieces when T.J. looked back at Buffy. He should have known this would happen sooner or later. It happened with Jonah after all. Obviously staight boys just started to become a type for him. He should have known not to keep his hopes up, and shouldn't have been cofident enough in his friendship with T.J that he nearly set Buffy up with him. Twice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom needs decidedly more fics, especially the Tyrus pairing!  
> I head it will only be this chapter where the angst is pretty heavy, so if this isn't your cup of tea, either don't read it or come back to it later.  
> Rated Teen and up for swearing  
> Enjoy the ride.

Lately it started to feel like a joke he wasn't in on. What was the chance that both crushes he's had turned out to be straight _and_ to be in love, or at least in like, with one of his two female best friends? Apparently the chance was pretty good, as he found himself heartbroken all over again. He felt dizzy, a feeling of nausea was spreading like venom in his stomach and quickly moved up to his throat, just so he had trouble breathing normally.

He shouldn't feel like this, he was the one who wanted Buffy and T.J. to get along. Just before today Buffy used to despise him, even hated him, so honestly, how could he have known things would turn out like this? He was actually just hoping for the two of them to settle on some kind of truce and move on from there. But no, lucky Cyrus, his plan worked out way better than he had wanted.

How could he have known that T.J. would make a conscious effort to work up an apology? Sure, Cyrus wanted to rehearse the whole apology thing, but he wanted to rehearse it _with_ T.J., he wanted to know what to expect and how to prepare for it. But no, T.J. had to go all out of his way and prepare a freaking sweet freestyle rap for Buffy, how the hell could she not have fallen for him just by hearing that?

He kept all his feelings on the inside, just as T.J. looked back at Buffy the feelings started threatening to surface. God, how he remembered Buffy's love struck expression. He started to feel really sick, the last thing he did before storming away from the scene was telling Buffy that "You think you know someone" and listening to Buffy saying "Until you find out that you don't".

He ran around the corner, panic finally seeping into his veins, heavy and thick. Heavy breathing leaving his mouth while it grew dryer and dryer. He thought he lost the ability to breathe normally all together. His arms and legs started to tremble and feel numb, he let himself sink down against the next wall of a building. He threw his head into his palms and started sobbing miserably, tears streaming down his face. He knew what he was supposed to do during panic attacks, so he tried. He tried to move his thoughts away from all the thoughts concerning Buffy and T.J. and that he brought this on himself and onto how his tingling, trembling limbs felt, to describe it to himself, try to explain how his mouth felt, his breathing, even the wall standing strongly against his back, only concentrating on that, and soon, he felt himself coming back to himself.

He wiped away his tears with his hands and started slowly making his way to his home. He still thought about his. agreeably, shitty situation. First Jonah and Andi, and now that this crush found its end, Buffy and T.J.

Just like he did with the whole 'Jandi' thing, he planned on supporting Buffy and T.J. as much as he possibly could. Bros over hose, fries over guys or whatever would apply here. He had brought them that far, why not continue now? He would destroy himself emotionally, but he didn't care, his parents would probably be disappointed, and proud. Disappointed because he was going in there head-first, knowing that it would have an admittedly bad impact on his mental health, which wasn't something to be proud of in the first place, but proud because he put his friends' happiness in front of his own.

He didn't want to tell his parents about any of that, they tended to hover, but sometimes it was a good thing that all four of your parents were shrinks. Take right now as a prime example: They actually left him alone to take his time sulking, because they probably psychoanalyzed him enough that they knew he needed to be alone right now.

Cyrus stormed up into his bed and let his body drop onto his bedcovers, immediately burying his head into his pillow. He didn't want to think about today anymore, just wanted to sleep despite it only being four in the afternoon, but his brain still supplied him with awful thoughts that were building up on each other and spiraling into infinity.

Was T.J. just using Cyrus as a bridge to get to Buffy faster? Like a stepping stone making his jump shorter and easier? And Buffy, why did she have to stay so vague about her crush, he wanted to know it clearly, he even outed himself to her, and he was sorry, but it probably took more guts to do that than just saying who her crush was. But he wasn't angry at Buffy, but believe me when I say he was angry at T.J. He totally dismissed any thought that it might not actually been his goal, that maybe he was reading too much into this situation. He was welcoming the anger, always preferred that over feeling extremely down.

T.J. suddenly seemed like that really bad person Cyrus always told everyone he wasn't. He was working at a children's gym, but in his head he suddenly wasn't playing with the kids anymore, but bullying them into doing things for him, even though he actually clearly wouldn't even be able to do so as there were always people looking over his work. He was suddenly just using dyscalculia as an excuse to not having to study as hard, totally dismissing that T.J. was doing his best at studying, even along with Cyrus. He believed all that in this moment of irrationality.

Fueled by this incredible anger, he stormed out of his parents house again, quickly telling his parents that he was going to the park before he closed the door behind him, not even waiting for a response.

He paced towards the park as quickly as he could. He was in such a rage that he didn't even notice that he was already at the park, and before he even knew it, he was sitting on his favorite swing. He just wanted to swing for a bit to clear his head, but his anger made him ignore everything. He was angrily swinging higher, his thoughts completely consumed with the thoughts of his friend who had seemingly betrayed him and his trust. The voice of that same exact person rang inside his head calling for him over and over again. It took some time for him to notice that T.J. was actually standing right next to his claimed swing, and it was only then that he noticed how high he was going.

Good god did he get scared. Holding up to his apparent tradition for today, tears were already overflowing and rolling down his face. He felt the same helplessness he felt with Jonah when he was skateboarding for the first time, only that this time he already had some history for this day. Just like when he was skateboarding, he didn't know what to do. So the scared boy just let go and tried to let himself fall in a non-life-threatening-way.

He felt his bottom and back come into contact with the hard surface of the ground. T.J. was there immediately, trying to help him get up and checking for injuries "Are you okay, Underdog?", the taller boy asked concernedly to which Cyrus looked town and shook his head frantically. Why, of all possible times, did T.J. have to show up at a time like this, he had already embarrassed himself enough by believing every lie T.J. seemed to have been feeding to him.

He felt petrified, started to sweat crazily and was just telling T.J. No, he didn't want any of this, like an idiot, he just cried into T.J.'s  hoodie. T.J. was carefully stroking his back, his arms wrapped around Cyrus' shaking frame. The latter didn't understand anything anymore, would his tantrum actually have been for nothing? How far was T.J. ready to go just to get with a girl? Would he actually let a guy he didn't like at all sob into his arms? He honestly didn't know anymore.

It took Cyrus some time to calm down, but T.J. was sitting on the ground, holding him in his arms patiently, trying to comfort him as good as he was capable. When Cyrus was able to pull away he didn't even want to know what his face must've looked like, all puffy and read and full of snot and tears. He self consciously put a hand in front of his face to hide it. "I'm sorry I got your hoodie wet, I don't know what just came over me. T.J. shook his head softly and grabbed Cyrus' free hand "Can you get up, Cyrus?", he waited for the dark aired boy for a hesitant nod until he carefully helped him stand and led him to The Spoon, while still holding onto Cyrus's hand. Cyrus, on the other hand, was chanting in his mid 'Don't read too much into it, Cyrus Goodman', like a mantra.

He was being led to the men's bathroom. T.J. asked whether it was okay to leave him alone in there and told him he'd get both of them a seat.

Cyrus, in the bathroom, finally got a look at his face and was honestly wondering how T.J. hadn't run away after seeing his face. he splashed some water in his face and started to wipe all his tears away, washed his hands and dried himself up. His nose was still red and his eyes were pretty swollen after crying the second time that day. He thought this was as good as it would get and dared to make his way to search for T.J.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus and T.J. have a heart to heart.

T.J. was already waving at him from his seat where he was  waiting with some Baby Taters and two cool drinks for both of them. He sat down opposite from T.J. He thought it was bound to get awkward right then, not that it actually ever been like that. In the end it was probably just his anxiety speaking. To work against that awkwardness, he started to dig into his Baby Taters. He felt a lot hungrier than he thought.

The two boys had finished their Baby Taters, and only had little left of their sodas, only then did T.J. speak up "Do you want to tell me what's wrong now? You don't have to, but if do, I'm here to listen". Cyrus was about to say no, but for the sake of it, he decided it was best to tell him the truth, or at least part of it. He was taking his time finding the right words, and T.J. let him, waiting patiently. "What I am about to tell you... can you promise me you won't tell anyone?", he asked carefully. T.J nodded seriously, he must notice how grave the situation was for Cyrus to have had such a big reaction earlier, that was a pretty bad panic attack after all. "You promise not to judge me?" T.J. put his hand on top of Cyrus's, looked him in his eyes, his gaze soft and true. "Cyrus, I will never judge you okay? I wouldn't betray your trust and tell anyone about your secrets, never, okay?", he gave his hand a final reassuring squeeze and then set his hand aside.

If only T.J. knew what this action did to Cyrus. His palm was sweating and his heart, which was already racing incredibly fast, did flips inside his chest, it made the butterflies in his stomach go wild and his skin yearn to have more proximity to his crush. And it put a lot more pressure on the shorter boy, as well. "I... don't know how to... put it?" he voiced it as a question. "Just try, I promise I will listen" T.J. encouraged him.

Cyrus sighed, he retreated his hand from the table and started fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. God, was he nervous. "Do you remember the first time we ever really spoke, at this swings?", T.J. smiled at him and murmured "Underdog", which had become a nickname for Cyrus since then. "Yes, exactly," he went on "we both said we had 'stuff' and I told you I probably had more?". The taller boy nodded and gestured for him to go on "Right, so I've been in love with one of my close friends"

"Okay that happens all the time, you don't have to feel bad about that. Was it Buffy?"

"Wait it gets better", Cyrus conceded, sounding defeated. "It wasn't Buffy, but she was the first who I ever told about it, any of it, really. Not even my parents know... I think" Cyrus averted his gave from his crush and took a deep breath, until he carefully returned looking at him, trying to seem determined. His heart beating in his throat, betraying his confident facade "I used to have a crush on Jonah" which was only a quickly pressed out whisper. "Okay", T.J. nodded calmly, it almost seemed like he was still waiting for more.

"T.J. I am gay", he told him again, thinking he hadn't understood it correctly because of the lack of a reaction on his crushes side. "Yeah I got that, I'm glad you told me, I really do appreciate it I get that it isn't easy, coming out to anyone, I won't tell anyone. To be honest, I kind of already had a feeling you were". Cyrus sputtered at that, not knowing what to say, T.J. chuckled at this. When he found his speech again he silently yelled in slight outrage "How the _hell_ did you already feel like I was? Wait, you don't actually have a problem with that? You could have _told_ me, honestly". T.J smiled at him sweetly "No, why would I have a problem with it, I don't want to be a hypocrite. Also, have you ever heard of a something called the 'Gay-dar'?"

"I thought Gay-dar is usually pretty exclusive to gay people", Cyrus muttered under his breath, hoping T.J. wouldn't hear, but today he ran completely out of luck, as T.J. answered him "You're on the right track", and Cyrus's eyes widened comically "Are you-", he started way too loudly, lowered his voice and whispered "Do you mean you are gay, too?", well, that was unexpected. T.J. still had the audacity to smile at him happily.

"I don't mean to offend you, but I would have never even assumed that you were gay", Cyrus stated boldly. T.J. nodded slowly and  told Cyrus "Yeah, neither would my parents", and suddenly it all made sense, except "Wait, so you didn't use my to get closer to Buffy?". T.J. began to laugh wholeheartedly and Cyrus honestly did not know why this was so funny.

"Come on, Underdog. I want to continue this talk somewhere else. Just let me pay first"

"No, wait, I can pay for my food", Cyrus started to take out his wallet, but T.J. shook his head and said "Let me do this, I ordered it, I'll pay for it okay?"

***

The two boys were walking in semi-comfortable silence next to each other, mostly because Cyrus thought that there had to something T.J. wanted to talk about, he just couldn't shake off that nervousness that he always felt when he was alone with T.J., and now it was amplified by the tension inside of his chest.

Cyrus was so glad that T.J. decided to come out to him, even if he still thought it could have been some kind of cruel joke because he somehow found out about his crush on him and now wanted to mess with him. But honestly, would he? Earlier that day he would've given this question a definite 'yes', but now he was almost certain that this was not the case.

T.J. found them a bench to sit on, somewhere in a small side street. It was nice and quiet. "So, I am pretty sure I don't know anyone around here" T.J. finally broke the silence "And that is good..why, exactly?", the shorter boy demanded, completely oblivious.

"I told you, I don't want my parents to find out that I'm gay, I don't want to risk anyone overhearing this"

"You literally just came out to me, _in The Spoon_ , I don't know, but I think there were plenty people who could've over heard us", and Cyrus just had to point this out, didn't he. He could literally slap himself across his face for being like that, it was already bad enough that he even asked _why_ T.J. didn't want to be seen or heard.

"Yeah, but never actually confirmed it, though now that we are here, yes I am gay and you are officially the first person I ever came out to"

.He was absolutely appalled about his parents, he huffed "Sometimes I totally hate parents, it wasn't your choice to be gay". T.J. gave him an agreeing nod "They'll come around, I'm hope. But before I even think about outing myself to them I want to be out of their house and independent enough if they ever do decide they don't want to have a gay son no matter what", he was smiling at Cyrus "I don't want to go to bible camp, you know?", he attempted to joke, but it didn't exactly sit well with Cyrus.

"I want you to know that if they ever do such a thing, I am here for you to talk. Even my parents will help you with anything, they are shrinks, all four of them!", He told him, totally taking on his 'therapists voice' which apparently he started using whenever he wanted to help a friend. The first time he noticed was actually when T.J. told him he had dyscalculia.

"I really appreciate this, but for as long as I can, and even if my parents might not be the most accepting, I want to keep living with them and not at some youth center, you know?", Cyrus hadn't even thought that far. God he felt so bad.

"I have yet to thank you for entrusting me with this secret, I shall not let it slip past my lips", Cyrus, said playfully, but with a serious note to it "I'll hold you to it, this shall be our secret, from now on", the taller boy picked up and continued

"But back to the original topic", T.J. tried to get back on track, "I absolutely didn't use you. I am actually extremely glad that you even talked to me in the first place, after I was such a dick to Buffy", he stated clearly, "Was that part of why you were that angry earlier?". There it was again, his stomach was filling with these dreadful butterflies. "Kind of? I thought you being the 'Scary Basketball Guy', it wouldn't be that far-fetched that you would have... well you know the story", he trailed off, eyes fixed on the ground in front of him. " _Now_ I know that this wasn't true and that I shouldn't have assumed like this. After all, I know you are everything but scary, at least to me. So what I meant to say is', he took his time to look T.J. into his green eyes, "I'm sorry"

"Seriously, before I knew you, I would have expected this from myself if I'm going to be completely honest. I think you bring out a side of me I almost forgot existed. I really had worked for my bad image, haven't I", he told Cyrus reflectively. "I'm glad", Cyrus started "Even that studying has worked out like we were hoping, huh?", T.J hummed in agreement, then they were sitting there for a while in silence.

"You know what the reason was?"

"Excuse me?"

"The reason why I wanted to set things right with Buffy?"

"No, shoot"

"I actually wanted to do this so that you didn't have to choose between the two of us again, as Buffy almost had you do before, you know, to not make it harder for you.. in the long run", T.J. explained himself to Cyrus.

"I feel like I am missing something, are you trying to tell me something?", Cyrus asked, his heart beating inside his throat, his body growing hot and tingly in anticipation. What was T.J. going to say? If he was going to say what he thought he would, he was sure his small heart wouldn't be able to take it anymore. This uncertainty almost made him feel like he was about to go crazy. His crush on T.J. turned out to be even bigger than the crush he originally harbored for Jonah. Actually, Jonah was really nothing but a crush, T.J. on the other hand... his feelings seemed to be going deeper than a crush already.

T.J. looked a little uncertain and nervous as he said "Uhm, come here often?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first off, I am not exactly happy with how this turned out but I feel like it kind of needed this slow pace? Yeah, definitely did.  
> Again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I would still love to hear your thoughts on this^^  
> Have a good one!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are finally working out that misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ever find any kind of musical references, then yes, they were very intentional.  
> Enjoy~

"Uhm, come here often?", T.J. asked, smiling at him nervously, if Cyrus thought it was cute when the blonde boy was showing around his C at that math test already, his scale  must have been totally gone crazy right now. He even had to make a conscious effort  to not 'aw' at him right that instant.

"Spell it out for me?", Cyrus said, absolutely unsure. It should have been clear to him at that point what T.J. was trying to tell him, but since Cyrus didn't want to make any more of a fool out of himself, he just had to ask.

TJ carefully placed his hand on top of Cyrus's knee. "Please don't tell me that you'll hate me after this'", T.J. murmured and Cyrus nodded his head as to tell him that he would never be able to hate him. "God, how do I say this?", T.J. started struggling as he seemed to be grabbing for words, "Fuck it", he said then, placed his free hand on the side of Cyrus's head and kissed him.

And yes, it was awkward, but he felt great despite all that. Sure, this hit Cyrus pretty unexpectedly so he didn't exactly have time to even think of kissing his crush back and he felt very sorry for probably confusing T.J., but it felt amazing.

 The kiss Iris gave him couldn't even compare to this one. He felt relieve, but also hotness, anticipation. Happiness. Their first kiss didn't last very long but it was already no compare to the peck Iris gave him. T.J. started to pull away, probably thinking he screwed up because Cyrus's lack of response, but didn't get too far away from the shorter boy. Cyrus summoned all the courage he required, closed his eyes bravely, and pulled T.J. back in.

This time I the kiss lasted longer, felt even better, as both of them were getting as close in synch as was possible for then at this point. Both of them didn't exactly know how to kiss someone, noses bumping and saliva going everywhere. Cyrus felt a bubble of laughter fall out of him as the happiness seemed  to be overflowing and the awkwardness of the kiss only added to it. He pulled his mouth away, still leaning his forehead against T.J.'s.

He opened his eyes and saw an amused smile gracing his crushes lips. Cyrus broke out in an amused fit of laughter and had T.J. grinning at him "What?" he mumbled slightly confused but with a bit of a teasing undertone, which only made him giggle some more. 'Nothing, I'm just very happy', Cyrus told him softly with a soft smile on his lips and a pink tint on his cheeks.

He never thought he'd be this sappy. Ever. And now it turned out to be the exact opposite. It felt good, great, even. This whole thing was way too cheesy, but honestly, he couldn't care less, apparently, he was very much into that.

T.J. let his lips move against the younger ones quickly, sweetly, and answered 'Me, too', the most dazzling grin Cyrus had ever seen adorning his face.

'I don't want to make this awkward' Cyrus began, 'but where does this put us now? I mean I don't want it to be as difficult as Andi and Jonah's weird on-off thing, it just seems way too complicated and I don't want that do you want that I mean-', T.J. quickly cut him off with a peck on his mouth 'I don't want that either. Let's just say we'll go on an actual, official date. Not a study date. And take it from there?', he said and the younger boy was already grinning at him in utter happiness 'but', he added 'if it's okay with you, I'd rather not tell anyone yet. Not the 'going out on a date' part, and not the fact that I'm gay'.

Cyrus visibly deflated, was he serious? How could he not tell anyone? Especially his friends, shouldn't Cyrus be able to tell people? They were basically a couple now. _No Cyrus, calm your horses, it's just gonna be one date. No couple yet anywhere in sight._ "Why? I can't even tell my friends? My parents? I mean, my parents won't be an issue yet, but like thinking in advance?", Cyrus voiced his concerns

 "My parents are a prime example for homophobic people', he stated emotionlessly. 'I don't mean to be disrespectful in any way, but you know that your mom is basically the gossip machine of Shadyside. If she finds out, actually if anyone finds out and says just one wrong thing, this will spread like wild fire.

"I like this bubble we are in right now, where we are safe, but I know that a bubble pops easily, and so could ours, if we're not careful", he added. Cyrus's eyes widened. God did he feel stupid. It was so obvious. He sighed "I will do my best not to be too obvious, I mean I successfully hid my feelings from your for long enough. I don't know if you tried to be, too, but I totally didn't notice that anything was going on. I _did_ think you were looking back at Buffy".

T.J. seemed to be surprised at that last part "You thought I was looking at Buffy? Cyrus, I looked into your eyes"

"I'm such a bad boyfriend already!", T.J. bemoaned "I'm responsible for that panic attack, and now I'm asking you not to talk about this!", how quick a mood could change, it was astounding, really.

"Listen, T.J. I can understand why you don't want to tell anyone yet, hell I only ever told three people, counting you", he tried to comfort the taller, "Also, you are not responsible for any of this, it was all in my head. You haven't done anything wrong, okay?"

T.J. nodded "I'm still sorry it has to be like this. You are usually such a collected person", he explained "You always know what to tell me, how to comfort me. You just always seem to find the right words. It was you who helped me come to terms with my dyscalculia. It was even you who made me feel comfortable admitting that I am gay. And now I'm telling you not to use your words. I don't want to have to do this"

Cyrus grabbed T.J.'s hand and squeezed it softly "I'm really flattered that you see me like that, but I'm actually just a huge bundle of nerves. I think the reason why I seem so collected to you is because I feel like I've been in situations like this

"And honestly, I don't care if I can't tell anyone, I know where you're coming from. I was pretty shocked when you first told me, but I'd rather have both of us happy than both of us miserable. I do want to go out on a date with you, so I accept your terms"

"That sounds like a contract", T.J chuckled softly, squeezing Cyrus's hand back to show him he understood.

They were suddenly interrupted by the bells of the next Cathedral and T.J. looked up at Cyrus in slight panic, then jumped up as if something had just bit him. "I need to go home!" he exclaimed "Oh God, my mom is going to be so pissed", he added as an afterthought.

The taller boy surprised him by holding out his hand for Cyrus to pull him up, other than just running away as quickly as he could. He took his hand and got up from their bench, only to be pulled into another kiss, his arms wrapping around T.J.

"I'm going to miss you", he murmured in Cyrus's ear lowly, and Cyrus? Cyrus felt a shiver running down his back. Damn those hormones.

"We're going to see each other tomorrow in school", he whispered back, and T.J answered him with a drawn out "But it's so long!"

Cyrus pulled back a little, his arms still holding T.J."We have been writing and talking on the phone these last weeks, that didn't change by us coming clean", he laughed.

T.J. leaned in for another quick peck but then broke their embrace, saying he really had to run now, and so he did.

Cyrus was still standing there, watching T.J.'s retreating back. He smiled as he saw T.J. looking back at him, not once but twice. The last time he was far away enough that he had to yell "Write me when you get home?", and Cyrus answered with a short "Sure", then he also turned around to leave.

 

***

 

When he arrived at home, he was positively _buzzing_ with happiness, his parents had obviously seen, throwing each other these knowing glances, but didn't say anything. Yet, probably.

When he got to his room he immediately took out his phone, texting T.J. that he was home and about to eat with his family, apparently so was T.J.

Later that night, they fulfilled Cyrus's promise to talk on the phone. And they did for a long time. They settled on going to the fair that was conveniently being held in the next town on Saturday, which was only two days away now.

Cyrus had a date. He couldn't believe it. He had a date with his crush, the captain of their school's basketball team. Heck, he even kissed the captain of their school's basketball team. He felt like he was flying.

For now, he didn't concern himself with the negative sides that might, no will, come up later. He fell asleep with thoughts of what they could be doing at the fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the Kudos I got from you guys, and the subsriptions! I am so overwhelemed!  
> Also thank you so, so much to the people who commented, I really appreciate every one of them and I'm so sorry if I haven't answered to every comment yet, I'll make sure to do so later! I always want to know your thoughts on this fic and I am so happy you are taking the time to tell me.
> 
> Also, this is actually far from the end of this fic, obviously the real struggles start now.
> 
> It could also be that I will update less frequently, but therefor longer chapters with obviously more content, if you still want it to remain like it was up until now (thee days, lol) then please tell me!
> 
> So long, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT!!  
> Apparently, I aged Cyrus and Buffy up to 15, Andi and Jonah to 14 and T.J. actually just stays 15.  
> I don't want to write about 13 y/o's making out, that kind of goes against my moral code or something.

The next morning, Cyrus was practically floating above the floor with happiness. He still couldn't believe yesterday had happened. He and T.J. kissed, and both with full consent! Was it weird that he added that? He didn't know, didn't even care, so what if he was weird, T.J. an him kissed the world was great. They even agreed to go on a date!

In that moment, Cyrus didn't even care that it was going to be at a fun fair, and that there were going to be merry-go-rounds and Ferris wheels and haunted houses. Somehow spending time with T.J. became more important than his obviously sworn enemies.

So Cyrus floated downstairs, grabbed his breakfast, kissed his mom goodbye, telling her he'd be late, and he was out of the house and on his way to pick up Buffy from the bus station, Andi from her house and, as a new addition, T.J. because his house was just a few streets away from Cyrus's place.

Cyrus picked T.J. up first, out of convenience. Obviously nothing out of the ordinary happened. Sure they hugged, maybe a bit longer than necessary but hugs and awkwardness was kind of a default for the younger boy, so probably no one would assume anything. Heck, he even hugs Jonah. It was sad how Cyrus couldn't say 'the other guys', when he stopped to think about it. Was that a gay thing? Well, whatever.

As the Good Hair Crew was reunited after a few long hours of separation, a weird tenseness that Cyrus didn't know was there lifted. This was territory he knew. He knew his best friends for many years, he knew what to expect. It was simply comfortable and he didn't have the constant 'Conceal, don't feel, put on a show' song playing in his mind anymore.

During the whole school day, Cyrus was surprised to find that nothing changed. He didn't know what he was expecting, just something, anything. No, T.J. did not ignore hi, but he also didn't come forward with anything.

T.J. just stayed with his basketball people, and like that, Cyrus also stayed with his three best friends. If Cyrus would be telling his younger self that he considered Jonah Beck his friend, even as a close friend, his younger self would probably go crazy. But if he was telling his younger self that he was about to go on a date with the school's basketball team captain he would've probably laughed in his face. How times have changed.

At lunch break, T.J. offered the Good Hair Crew to watch the basketball practice, of course not without teasing Buffy. In a friendly way, Buffy even  responded to it in an equally teasing way. If Cyrus didn't know T.J. was actually gay, he'd be really jealous. Scratch that, jealousy did creep up into his gut, he was just trying to keep it at bay because he rationally knew that T.J. wouldn't even try to have a relationship with a girl.

Andi and Jonah, thankfully declined , probably still thinking it was a bit weird to suddenly be cheering for the guy they were about to yell at when they were at the last game. Buffy accepted though, and like that, they were sitting on the bleachers together.

If Cyrus was completely honest, if it weren't for Buffy yelling into his ear how they should play they ball, and how they shouldn't, he would've probably fallen asleep. That was no fault of T.J.s, he did look good doing his sport and he could probably watch him doing that for hours, it was just that the whole thing was boring to him. You know, sports.

The weird thing that he noticed during practice was that T.J. seemed to be making advances towards Buffy again. Was that for cover? Did the other even notice? Cyrus for one didn't notice Iris actually started to like him, he was way too focused on Jonah at that time. Why did T.J. always have to confuse Cyrus like this?

Obviously, Cyrus was just sitting there, silently brooding internally, while looking cheerful on the outside. Was he allowed to feel upset already? Well, he didn't care,. He was in a tight spot right now and he felt valid, thank you very much.

After practice was over, the team was in the locker room and Cyrus feeling slightly deaf on one ear, he and Buffy were waiting for the captain to show up.

Buffy asked Cyrus if he minded T.J. acting like he did at all, but Cyrus convincingly denied it say so himself, he thought he was giving a pretty good impression. Buffy being Buffy, had to ask again to give him the chance to say that it does bother him, but he stayed true to their little scheme. Even though he thought it wouldn't even matter to Buffy if he did admit that he _like_ \- liked him.

Somehow, Cyrus figured that it would be best if most people didn't know that he was gay. If T.J.s parents really were as bad as he said, he was afraid that they wouldn't let them hang out ever again because they might not want a gay kid to be friends with their son. They might be angry enough already, though completely unreasonably so, that their son had a learning disability, and now he might even be gay? Being gay could seriously suck. Anyways, Cyrus didn't want to risk anything, he didn't plan to come out to the whole school anyway. The next step would have probably been Jonah, but not now, it were enough variables to take into account already, no need to make it more.

When T.J. got out of the locker rooms, and Cyrus was feeling more uncomfortable than he ever did in Buffy's presence, they started to make their way to Buffy's house.

"Coach Purcell really wanted to get you in shape today, huh?", Buffy attempted at small talk, which made a sigh come out of T.J. "Not only the coach did", he told her to which she asked what he meant by that.

"Well, I felt like you could've easily passed as our coach as well just now"

"Yeah well, you weren't acting to your full potential, _someone_ had to say something"

'Here they go again', Cyrus thought, defeated, but he was about to be surprised. "Buffy, you're right. And I don't just say that because Cyrus told me you like hearing these words. I really would like it if you'd show up some time or the other and have a look at my team", T.J. really seemed genuine with his words and Buffy also looked like she realized this, too, her face visibly cleared and she smiled at him "You just keep on surprising me, T.J. Kippen. I'll see if I can fit it in my schedule".

The two of them just kept on teasing each other playfully with Cyrus quietly trotting next to them, growing more anxious with every step he made. T.J. wouldn't have made a huge joke in the end right?

"I have to grab some money before we leave is that okay with you?" Cyrus nodded in shock, what should he have done, Buffy wasn't supposed to know, and now T.J. just goes announcing their date? Great, just great. And now Cyrus didn't even get to stress over the fact that he was going to _meet T.J.s parents_ who he made out to be _the_ homophobes of this century. No instead he was stressing over what to tell Buffy.

"What are you doing that you'll need money for?", Buffy curiously questioned.

No, T.J. had made his bed, now he had to lay in it.

"We... want to go look for something to give to Andi's parents for their wedding. I told Cyrus that I might not be the perfect man for that job, but he insisted"

Buffy nodded slowly

After they said their goodbyes to Buffy and she got on her bus, they were silently walking next to each other for about five minutes, then all of a sudden Cyrus's had had been grabbed be the older teen, and they were slow jogging somewhere Cyrus didn't know "Is this a short cut?", he asked when they were walking through some field. T.J. slowed down, and waited for Cyrus to catch his breath until he said "This is more like the scenic route", his eyes fixed on Cyrus's.

Cyrus was being pulled into T.J. by the older ones hand that was still holding onto his own. T.J. gave him a few second to pull away and when he didn't do so T.J. took it as an invitation to kiss him sweetly. Cyrus's hands immediately grabbed T.J.s jersey and was surprisingly fast really into it.

"T.J.", Cyrus huffed breathlessly "We should stop". T.J. pulled away quickly. "Why, is something wrong?" he asked, equally breathless. Cyrus chuckled embarrassedly "You know us being teenagers and you with that wet hair... kissing me like this..." he trailed off, feeling his cheeks heating up rapidly.

"Oh god Cyrus! I thought I was making you uncomfortable", T.J. laughed, then quickly corrected himself "I mean in a bad way, like the kissing was not your thing"

"Nope, it's just your rugged good looks", Cyrus paused "Did I really just say that out loud?", he asked, wide eyed.

T.J. just shook his head fondly, and started to walk again, making his way to his home and waiting for Cyrus to follow up "Dead puppies", T.J. offered and was met with a confused expression on Cyrus's face "You know, to make it go away. Think of something really sad or disgusting", he said, straight faced but with a teasing undertone.

"Great that you think this is funny"

"God Underdog, it's nothing to be ashamed of"

"Oh really? How do you know?"

"What do you think I'm doing right now?"

"Oh"

"I'm the same age as you, we're both in that awkward state, even if you might think that us 'popular kids' don't have these problems"

"I never said that"

They were walking for some time in quiet, cautiously letting their hands bump into each other, maybe lingering a bit longer than natural.

"By the way, what was your deal with Buffy today?", Cyrus spoke up first. "Jealous?", T.J. asked him cockily. "Seriously T.J., what do you think?", Cyrus demanded, a little annoyed at this point.

"Underdog, I told you, I'm not interested in girls", T.J. said lowly "So why would I really try to flirt with Buffy? I thought I was just being nice to her"

Cyrus gave him the _look_ and T.J. raised his arms "Seriously, I want to make it work with the two of us. If  Buffy thinks I was flirting with her, I'll personally tell her that it wasn't how I meant this, _at all_ ", he offered, giving him his puppy eyes. From the first time Cyrus had seen him like this, he knew he could never resist the other boy like that.

"Okay, okay fine. I believe you"

*******

When the two boys were about to reach T.J.s house, Cyrus's hands turned sweaty.

"T.J..." He trailed off. The older teen stopped in his tracks and turned to him in concern, placing his hand in the crook of his neck as if to ask him what was wrong "How do I act... not so gay?", he asked looking desperate.

T.J looked conflicted, a lot of emotions were being mirrored off his eyes. "Don't concern yourself with this, my parents won't notice anything"

"But T.J. They are your parents. This is a huge deal. And they can't know that I'm gay. Do I act gay in general? I don't even know, can people tell?" T.J. quickly placed his other hand on Cyrus's cheek and softly moved his face so that he had to look at him. "Look at me Cyrus", he told the other teen softly but determined "You are not 'acting gay', my parents won't notice, they love took above all of that, to them being gay is a choice, and if you don't walk in waving pride flags and wearing a shirt that says "Gay and Proud" they won't know this, seriously"

Cyrus nodded, feeling a little numb "Do you want to sit down for a second?", T.J. asked carefully, letting his hands slide down to his sides and Cyrus nodded again.

They just said there in silence, T.J. stroking Cyrus's back and Cyrus getting his breath under control.

"It should be me comforting you right now", Cyrus said, sounding defeated.

"I'm alright Cyrus, you can help me when I really need it okay? I have done this charade for three now, I have grown used to it"

"What made you realize you were gay? Like who was your 'sexual awakening?", Cyrus asked curiously. "Honestly? Peter Pan"

"No way!", Cyrus laughed, feeling fondness and an unknown feeling spread through his chest "Is it that weird?", the older boy asked, smiling sheepishly. "No, but Peter Pan is like THE Twink of the Disney universe!"

"Well, I seem to have a type, huh?"

"Wait, I'm not a Twink!"

"Sure, whatever you say, chocolate chocolate chip muffin"

"Don't call me that!"

T.J. got up and started to walk in the direction of his house again, knowing that Cyrus felt a lot better now. He must, if he was able to get into this soft banter.

Now it was time for Cyrus to get to know T.J.s parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this slightly longer chapter, I'm sorry, I wanted it to have about one thousand words longer but I had to split this chapter in two because the plot got a bit more than I thought.  
> I guess most of us here are millenials, so I hope you'll understand that my mental health is pretty bad right not, so I'm having trouble motivating myself to write.  
> Also, if I ever say that being queer can suck, just take it from a gay trans guy who's in that scene, it REALLY can.  
> Also, I don't know if I can post anything next week !!!!!! because I'll be on a class trip for five days and I won't have my laptop with me.  
> Thanks again to all the people who read this, subscribe to this, give this Kudos and comment, you guys are the BEST!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this first Chapter!  
> It would be great to hear your thoughts in the comments, or just you know. Don't hesitate to voice your thoughts.  
> Even if Tyrus won't become canon, it will always stay my OTP haha.


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